Briggs and Louis have killed the last female white-flippered turtle on the planet. To escape the heat, they volunteer to investigate a drug scandal in a posh public girls' school.

Louis and Briggs decide to mix their drinks at the Metropolitan Police Ball, but disaster strikes when they are confronted by a range of horrors, including a flasher.

Spoof police drama series. Briggs and Louis are dispatched to the Isle of Wight on a top secret mission to provide round-the-clock protection for a clutch of valuable birds' eggs.

Briggs and Louis try to recover the latest creation of enfant terrible Haydn Smailes, which consists of maracas, a tin of peaches and a fish tank of the artist's own urine.