The Exchange

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The Exchange: Honesty

Honesty

BBC Radio 4 - The Exchange, Honesty

Two strangers meet to share a common experience, and their differences. They bring a gift.

Two strangers meet to discuss the radical choices they have made about honesty and the lies we tell ourselves and others. They share experiences, differences, and exchange a gift.

Two people who share a common experience meet for the first time. Each has a gift for the other - something that unlocks their story. Together with presenter Catherine Carr, they exchange personal experiences, thoughts and beliefs, as well as uncovering the differences between them.

Michael and Dina have both made radical choices about how they interact with the world and everyone in it – choices about honesty and the lies we tell ourselves and each other.

Michael Leviton was a raised in family where honesty was the only policy. Michael’s parents believed that it was important to share what was on your mind at all times, and never conceal something with a lie - not even to protect someone’s feelings. As he got older, however, Michael found that this kind of radical honesty was detrimental to relationships – romantic and platonic - and employment. Following a heartbreak, Michael decided his incessant truth-telling was no longer worth it and, at the age of 29, vowed to be less honest and to start lying in his social interactions.

Dina Kaplan is the opposite. For most of her life, she told little white lies like most of us do. But in 2012, she went on a ten-day silent retreat which required her to sign a series of vows to join the programme. This included a vow of honesty, which didn't seem so intimidating. But at the end of the retreat, Dina was told that these vows now applied to the rest of her life. At that moment, she decided to try an experiment - to live her working and personal life never lying about anything, ever. 

Dina had always considered herself a pretty honest person. But now - committed to stopping all lying (except to save the life of someone or to protect their health) - Dina was shocked to discover how often she lied to people about little, inconsequential things. Dina continues to live as honestly as possible.

Dina and Michael exchange gifts which shed light on their own stories and will, they hope, have meaning for the other. 

With thanks to Dina Kaplan: https://www.thepath.com/dina and Michael Leviton: http://michaelleviton.com/explanations/

Presented by Catherine Carr
Produced by Jo Rowntree

A Loftus Media production for BBC Radio 4

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