Two people who share a common experience meet for the first time. Each has a gift for the other - an object that unlocks their story. With the help of presenter Catherine Carr, they exchange personal experiences, thoughts and beliefs, as well as uncovering the differences between them.

Fran and Rashid both faced difficult decisions when their elderly parents needed care. The choices they made were different, but they grappled with a common experience that is familiar to so many.

Fran was a full-time professional living in Bristol when her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and needed care. She decided against a care home and brought her mother to live with her and her family until she died several months later. Fran now makes a two hour round trip every weekend to visit her father, who is in his 90s, has dementia and lives in his own home with support from a carer.

Rashid runs a family business in Bristol. He was a child when he arrived in the UK with his family in the early 1970s, having been expelled from Uganda, along with 50,000 Asians, on the orders of President Idi Amin. When his mother needed care after a fall, she initially went to live with her eldest son in Kenya. But she missed Rashid and her other children who were all in the UK. When she returned, the family realised her complex needs meant she needed nursing care. Rashid says they looked at all the options but, although it was an incredibly hard decision to make, he realised in the end that a nursing home was the best place for his mother to get all the care she needed.

At the heart of their exchange is the desire to do the best thing for their parent. Their conversation lays bare the difficult decisions people often have to make about caring for elderly relatives.

The pair exchange gifts which reveal their own stories and show an insight into each other’s struggles.

Presented by Catherine Carr
Produced by Jo Dwyer
A Loftus Media production for BBC Radio 4 Show less