Two people who share a common experience, meet for the first time. Each has a gift for the other - an object that unlocks their story. With the help of presenter Catherine Carr, they exchange personal experiences, thoughts and beliefs, as well as uncovering the differences between them.

Figen Murray and Bryn Hughes are strangers, but in a curious way they say they already know each other. They describe themselves as “members of a club no one wants to join”. Both are parents of children who were murdered and that means between them “there are no surprises, no revelations about who we are and what we are, because we already know”.

In 2017, Figen’s son Martyn was killed with 21 other people in the Manchester Arena attack. The bomber blew himself up and, one month later, Figen went on national TV and forgave him.

In 2012, Bryn’s daughter Nicola, a police officer, answered a routine call with a colleague. Both officers were shot and killed in an ambush. Nicola’s killer is serving a whole life sentence.

For Bryn, forgiving the man is a concept he cannot understand.

Forgiveness was the right choice for Figen, but she says, “I met with a lot of resistance and confusion. Some of my other children struggled with it. A lot of my friends struggled with it. And of course, I got slated on Twitter. I got trolled really badly for it.”

Bryn wonders whether forgiveness is “too final” for him and whether he is scared to make that decision even though it might help him heal.

The pair exchange gifts which reveal their own stories and show an insight into each other and the children they’ve lost.

Presenter: Catherine Carr

Producer: Louise Cotton

Executive Producer: Jo Rowntree

A Loftus Media production for BBC Radio 4 Show less