Jeff is having one of his occasional dark afternoons of the soul.

Andy decides he needs a project. As luck would have it, the local pub landlord Phil Loynes needs a gimmick to boost his flagging sales.

Jeff wonders if a ghost would help: “Every pub needs a ghost” and he tells the story of the mysterious Grey Lady of Sharpwater Green. Even though the story is completely invented by Jeff, he and Andy go out of their way to make it real, with the help of veteran ghost-faker Fish Shop Frank Bridgwater.

While our heroes are grappling with forces they do not comprehend, their friend Joyce is struggling with a creature she cannot control - a large dog called Goliath.

Will the Flamford False Phantom Fakers fall victim to the most inexorable power of all - social media?

Jeff ...... Philip Jackson
Joyce ...... Alison Steadman
Frank Bridgewater ...... Mark Benton
Dr Singh ...... Shobna Gulati
Phil Loynes ...... Rasmus Hardiker
Andy ...... James Northcote

Created and Written by Ian Brown and James Hendrie

Director: Gordon Kennedy

An Absolutely production for BBC Radio 4, first broadcast in June 2020. Show less