Quizzical everywoman and stand-up poet Kate Fox explores more of the things she does not want in life (and which she has cheerfully failed to achieve), and how much she has saved emotionally and financially in the process.

This time she looks at the subject of middle class status. Perhaps it's partly a Northern thing, but Kate is conflicted about buying ciabatta and living life in a Cath Kidston and Emma Bridgewater glow.

What's wrong with putting ketchup bottles on the table and retaining flat vowels?

Although she feels this might have cost her over the course of her career, the price of keeping up Middle Class Appearances is equally costly. You've got to buy a house for a start (£272,000 on average), a middle class car like a Mondeo (£20,750) and have middle class children like Araminta and Horace (£133,000 each). However, is it hypocritical to say that you're not middle class if you've got a degree, a dog called Norbert and a Moleskin notebooks habit?

Kate asks the audience to be her Class Identity Counsellors and decide whether she is more waitress than Waitrose.

Producer: Lianne Coop

An Impatient production for BBC Radio 4, first broadcast in June 2017. Show less