A sitcom set in the Office of Local and National Statistics which, depending on who you ask, is either where the real power of government resides, or the place where fun goes to die.

In this episode, a stag do, a stats conference and a blood test combine to make Graham’s life substantially worse.

Meet the team:

Graham Quicks is Head of the People and Places Department of the LNS. There are three things in the world that Graham will always have faith in – statistics, the supremacy of filofaxes over computers and the idea that cardigans will never go out of style.

Audrey Carr is the Survey Researcher for the department. She believes passionately that statistics should be used as a tool to help the man on the street. Fortunately for her, she's never actually met "the man in the street". She's also passionate about Jane Austen, Les Miserables and pretending that she doesn't work in an office with Daniel.

Daniel Porter is the department's Data Analyst. He used to work in the City, until the City realised he was a colossal waste of space. Daniel divides his time between manipulating statistics to further his vision of capitalism, necking energy drinks and telling people his thighs are really, really strong. He's terrible.

Mrs. Wilkins has worked as tea lady, archivist and maintenance guru for fifteen years. She knows where the bodies are buried. We must stress that that is a figure of speech.

Graham Quicks ...... Vincent Franklin
Audrey Carr ...... Rebekah Staton
Daniel Porter ...... Kieran Hodgson
Mrs Wilkins ...... Julia Deakin

Special guests:
The Corporate Manager............Paul Shearer
The Doctor................................Catriona Knox
The Stage Manager..................Tom Crowley
The Graham Gal.......................Tessa Coates

With Jo Unwin as The Narrator

Written by Jack Bernhardt

Producer: David Tyler

A Pozzitive production first broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in November 2015. Show less