An intruder, an ice-cream van and Daniel Barenboim make life difficult for Snoo and Alice as Simon constructs a deadly cornflakes-based trap.

Meet Alice, a former child prodigy who won a place at Oxford aged 9 but, because Daddy went too, she never needed to have any friends. She's scared of everything - everything that is, except libraries and Snoo, a slightly confused individual, with a have-a-go attitude to life, marriage, haircuts and reality. Snoo loves books, and fully intends to read one one day.

And forever popping into the library is Dr. Cadogan, celebrity doctor to the stars and a man with his finger in every pie. Charming, indiscreet and quite possibly wanted by Interpol, if you want a discrete nip and tuck and then photos of it accidentally left on the photocopier, Dr Cadogan is your man.

Their happy life is interrupted by the arrival of Simon Nielson, a man with a mission, a mission to close down inefficient libraries. Fortunately, he hates his mission. What he really wants to do is once, just once, get even with his inexhaustible supply of high-achieving brothers.

Written by Morwenna Banks and Rebecca Front

Alice ...... Rebecca Front
Snoo ...... Morwenna Banks
Simon Neilson ...... Ben Willbond
Dr Cadogan ...... Michael Fenton Stevens
Ice Cream Seller ...... Philip Pope
Angry Parent ...... Georgie Fuller

Based on an idea developed with Armando Iannucci

Producer: David Tyler

A Pozzitive production for BBC Radio 4, first broadcast in September 2015. Show less