Alice and Snoo have to resort to some rather unconventional means to get people into the library.

A very low shelf, a book about zombies, a hosepipe ban and some hummingbirds bring the public flocking in.

Meet Alice, a former child prodigy who won a place at Oxford aged 9 but, because Daddy went too, she never needed to have any friends. She's scared of everything - everything that is, except libraries and Snoo, a slightly confused individual, with a have-a-go attitude to life, marriage, haircuts and reality. Snoo loves books, and fully intends to read one one day.

And forever popping into the library is Dr Cadogan, celebrity doctor to the stars and a man with his finger in every pie. Charming, indiscreet and quite possibly wanted by Interpol, if you want a discrete nip and tuck and then photos of it accidentally left on the photocopier, Dr Cadogan is your man.

Their happy life is interrupted by the arrival of Simon Nielson, a man with a mission to close down inefficient libraries.

Fortunately, he hates his mission. What he really wants to do is once, just once, get even with his inexhaustible supply of high-achieving brothers.

Written by Morwenna Banks, Rebecca Front and Arthur Mathews

Alice ...... Rebecca Front
Snoo ...... Morwenna Banks
Simon Neilson ...... Ben Willbond
Dr Cadogan ...... Michael Fenton Stevens
Dean ...... Simon Greenall
Deaf Action Man ...... Gus Brown
Wifi Customer ...... Philip Pope
Vikram Seth Customer ...... Georgie Fuller

Based on an idea developed with Armando Iannucci.

Producer: David Tyler

A Pozzitive production for BBC Radio 4, first broadcast in September 2015. Show less