It's the wedding of the year in a grand castle in Scotland. Even high profile media mogul Marcus Blackstock (Gordon Kennedy) is in attendance. But Jane Roberts (Catriona Knox) is not having a good time. This is probably because an old and, in Jane's opinion, less talented school friend has found love and wealth without having to do anything as mundane as forge herself a career.

However, Lucy (Lizzie Bates) and Amelia (Anna Emerson) are both having the time of their lives - Lucy because she's enjoying an incredible run of success with men, and Amelia because she just loves to dance. In fact she loves everything and everyone. Maybe that's because she's had her drink spiked with Scotland's most prevalent party drug Crank.

Suddenly Jane's news antenna is twitching and she pieces together a story which all points to a Crank super-lab operating out of a remote cave on the outlying island of Todday.

Written by Anna Emerson, Lizzie Bates and Catriona Knox
Audio production by Matt Katz

Produced by Dave Lamb and Richie Webb
A Top Dog production for BBC Radio 4. Show less