Bunty's nowhere to be found when an EU official arrives to inspect her vegetables.

Meanwhile the rest of Millport is bitten by the fitness bug, but the lack of any sports facilities poses a few logistical problems...

Bittersweet comedy written by and starring Lynn Ferguson.

Barmaid Irene Bruce is 30-something and hankering after a better life on the mainland.

Irene ...... Lynn Ferguson
Moira/Agnes ...... Janet Brown
Alberto/Robert/Inspector ...... Lewis McLeod
Ena/Bunty ...... Gabriel Quigley
Bob/Minister ...... Robert Patterson
Dougie ...... Matt Costello

Music arranged by Olly Fox.

Producer: Lucy Bacon

First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in May 2001. Show less