- Written By:
- Ian Hislop
- Written By:
- Nick Newman
- Unknown:
- Kevin Whately
- Producer:
- Grainne Marmion
- Director:
- Jimmy Mulville
- Colin Worsfold:
- Kevin Whately
- Arthur Hedley:
- Keith Barron
- Pathologist:
- Jack Dee
- Peter Villiers:
- Peter Egan
- George Cranley:
- Nicholas Jones
- Geoffrey Lester:
- Geoffrey McGivern
- Waterboard chairman:
- Warren Mitchell
- Claire Worsfold:
- Pippa Guard
- Ben Worsfold:
- Matthew de la Mere
- Pippa Worsfold:
- Kate Maberly
- Androcles:
- Jake Wood
- Maureen:
- Caroline Trowbridge
- Spike:
- Morgan Jones
- Treasury boss:
- Selina Cadell
- Hans Gluck:
- Johnathan Coy
- Montague:
- Michael Thomas
- Gun shop assistant:
- Stephen Frost
- Journalists:
- Cas Harkins,
- Journalists:
- Melissa Wilson
- Pipsqueak:
- Tom Hollander
- Regional newspaper journalist:
- Jason O'Mara
- Scientist:
- Sara Mair-Thomas
- Policeman:
- Mark Spalding
- Newsreaders:
- Suzy Aitchison,
- Newsreaders:
- Hugo Chandor
- Celebrity newsreader:
- Richard Whitmore
- Security men:
- Paul Broughton,
- Security men:
- Alan Igbon
- Gordon the Gobbler:
- Michael Fenton-Stevens
- Beardie:
- Philip Rowlands
- Fat bloke:
- Howard Lew Lewis
