or Christmas Presents and How to Survive Them
Have you ever wondered what you would actually do with a partridge in a pear tree if your true love had one delivered? Are you one of those people who are given colouring books for six year olds when you're preparing for O-levels?
Slinky nighties when you live in a draughty cottage? Purple shirts that are a size too small? Does Christmas mean unwrapping unwanted hot-water bottle covers, calendars and egg coddlers? David Self investigates with the help of game-keepers, poultry dealers and taxidermists.
Producer PETER FOZZARD